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most of my life I've tried to nestle myself into confines of identity
only to realize that I was making myself insane in the process, not the entertaining eccentric kind.
the older I get the more I realize the limitations of picking something and sticking to it.
I was under the guise that because I didn't pick something early on (career, identity, hobby, political view) I would eternally be behind the rest of society
today I decided to publish a blog
do people still read blogs?
the most I know of blogs is the seemingly eternal scroll to get to a recipe
or someone's vacant recount of a trip to whatever place with lots of well lit beige photos
does this blog have a category?
what is it I'm supposed to blog about?
my journey in following my intuition, the esoteric and unhinged ramblings of my journal, my day to day effort to do something different to embody the life that I envision for myself?
maybe I'll share the dark comedy that runs rampant in my brain
and the moral compass that tries to wrangle it.
Terence McKenna once said, "this is how magic is done. by hurling yourself into the abyss and discovering that it is a feather bed"
that abyss is metamorphic
as profane as it may sound this is the shape of my abyss
a place where I am exposed, where I have chosen to be vulnerable, where thousands or none will see me.
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